


Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot? A New Year's Eve story.

by Rakshi



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-04
Updated: 2011-12-04
Packaged: 2017-10-26 22:08:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/288430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rakshi/pseuds/Rakshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's New Year's Eve... and Sean can't stop remembering.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot? A New Year's Eve story.

**Author's Note:**

> Challenge: Waymeet 'Take Five' Challenge
> 
> Prompts: 1.) 'Five times Sean cried over Elijah' and 2.) 'Five things Elijah did to convince Sean that he loved him.'
> 
> These five tribbles combine to create one story. Each of the tribbles is 300 words and contains 2 prompts. One time Sean cried over Elijah and one thing Elijah did to convince Sean that he loved him.

Sean always cried on New Year’s Eve. Always. _It’s that damned song!_ he thought, wiping his eyes. _It always gets to me._

That song was all about nostalgia, a quality Sean worked hard to avoid. It pried open too many doors that he wanted tightly closed; doors that stood between him and the pain that lived behind them. Nostalgia was the enemy of Sean Astin’s peace.

It was New Year’s Eve. He had kissed his wife, shaken hands with the friends they had invited over, and retreated to his den to pull himself together. _That damned song!_ he thought again, biting his lower lip in an attempt to get control over the sobs that threatened to shatter his chest and leave him totally undone.

Too much regret, too much pain, memories threatening to overwhelm him. And that song brought it all rushing back. “Should old acquaintance be forgot…” Blue eyes that shone with the light of ten thousand stars... soft lips that opened under his... a kiss that took his breath away… guilt that ripped his soul and finally, a farewell that broke his heart in ways hadn’t known existed.

 _God, I love him so much!_ he thought in anguish. _So much._ Elijah never contacted him and Sean blessed him for the mercy of his silence. One word from Elijah’s lips and Sean knew he would be on his knees begging.

He started as his phone sounded a familiar text message tone. Hesitantly he reached for it, both terrified of what the message might say and desperately longing to read it. Before his damp eyes he saw: “HNY, Seanie. I love you.”

"Days gone by, Elijah", he whispered, almost choking on his tears. "Is there a cup of kindness yet?"

He drew in a trembling breath and pressed speed dial.

* * *

“Happy New Year, baby,” Sean murmured, his voice choked.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Elijah murmured in return. “Just wanted to wish you ‘Happy New Year’.”

“You didn’t make me cry,” Sean assured him. “That song made me cry. Missing you made me cry.” He was silent for a moment then whispered: “Loving you made me cry.”

“Isn’t love supposed to make a person happy?” Elijah asked.

“I’m happy _now_ ,” Sean murmured. “I’m _very_ happy now.”

“You could have called me anytime and made _yourself_ happy.”

“No, I couldn’t.”

“Too much guilt?”

“No. I didn’t want to muck up your life.”

“Why do you always think you’re not worth loving?”

>   
> _His mind flashed back to New Zealand. He’d just received a severe tongue lashing from his mother. Even though she was on medication, there were still moments when she was unable to control her anger and struck out irrationally._
> 
>  _ _Why am I **still** her favorite target?_ he wondered miserably. She had berated him today just as she had so often in his childhood, leaving him feeling totally unlovable… and utterly rejected._
> 
> “Sean?” Elijah suddenly knelt in front of him. “Brought you something,” he said, holding out a plate on which rested two, large chocolate chip cookies.
> 
> Sean stared at him, his eyes wide and swimming with tears.
> 
> “When you’re feeling low,” Elijah said softly. “A cookie helps you feel better.” He touched Sean’s face with his other hand, caressing it gently then whispered: “And so does eating it with someone who loves you.”

  
The re-awakened memory flooded Sean’s eyes with hot tears. “You always made me feel… loved.”

“You crying _again_ , Astin?”

“This time it _is_ you’re fault!”

"Maybe old acquaintance _should_ be forgot!"

"Lij, remember the early days? Back in New Zealand?"

"Every day, Seanie. Every single day."

* * *

Sean clutched the phone closer, wishing he could pull Elijah through the airwaves and into his arms. “I think about it too,” he whispered. “The first time we kissed? Remember, Elijah?”

A soft laugh came to him through the receiver. “I remember. I was drunk and you were scared.”

“You were _way_ more than drunk!”

“You want to know a secret?”

“Sure!”

“I wasn’t really drunk. I was barely buzzed. What I _was_ was young.”

Sean was silent.

“You cried that night too,” Elijah recalled, laughing.

“It was pretty overwhelming.”

“You asked _permission_ to kiss me! How romantic was _that_ , Sean?”

>   
> _Sean’s mind rocketed back a decade._
> 
>  _He was in a dark corner of a New Zealand bar, with Elijah standing close enough that Sean could feel his body heat. His mind was reeling with shock. Had he just asked Elijah for a kiss? Had Elijah just said ‘Yes’?_
> 
>  _And now that he had permission could he actually _do_ it? For a moment he hesitated while Elijah stared unflinchingly into his eyes. Then he took a deep breath and closed the distance between them. Elijah’s lips were soft under his; full and yielding._
> 
> He hadn’t kissed anyone but his wife in fifteen years, and, sadly, kisses had become merely a token of what he _used_ to feel. Nothing had prepared him for the riptide of emotion that coursed through him now with this one kiss. Hot tears burned his eyes and his breath caught on a soft sob. “Thank you,” he whispered raggedly.
> 
> “For what?”
> 
> “For helping me remember what a kiss is supposed to be… what it’s supposed to feel like.”

  
“God, I felt like a sap,” Sean whispered into the receiver.

“Why?”

“Because that one kiss changed my life.”

“That’s what a first kiss is supposed to do.”

* * *

“That first kiss was so sweet,” Sean told him. “And so were all the ones that followed.”

“Is this the way ex-lovers start the New Year?” Elijah asked suddenly. “Reminiscing?”

“Are we _ex_ lovers?” Sean replied, thinking to himself, _Please say ‘no’._

“Well,” Elijah said slowly, drawing the word out on a sigh. “We haven’t made love in a while, Seanie.”

“Would you like to remedy that?”

“I’m thinking of the first time,” Elijah said quietly, ignoring Sean’s question. “Weren’t we in a fucking _truck_ someplace on the South Island?”

“Only place we could be alone,” Sean muttered. “Jesus, Elijah, truck or not, it was paradise.”

“We both shed a few tears that night.”

“We did.”

“Were we crying from joy… or guilt?”

“Joy,” Sean said firmly. He hesitated, and then spoke more softly. “The guilt came later.” He heard Elijah sigh and his mind flashed back ten years to an unforgettable night in the back of a truck.

>   
> _They were both gasping for breath and trembling all over; sweat covering their naked bodies as they lay together on a pile of blankets… totally spent._
> 
>  _“Jesus!” Sean gasped. “Jesus, Elijah!”_
> 
>  _“My god, Sean,” Elijah half-moaned._
> 
>  _“I didn’t know,” Sean continued, his voice thick with unshed tears. “I didn’t know it could feel like this. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.” As tears tracked down his cheeks, he gazed down upon the man he knew himself to be irrevocably in love with. “I didn’t know,” he whispered again in the same choked voice._
> 
>  _Elijah brushed away Sean’s tears and whispered: “Well, _I_ did. Now listen to me, Sean. My love is there for you with no demands… now or ever. ”_

  
“You were magic that night,” Sean told him softly.

“And now what, Sean? Where do we go from here?”

* * *

Sean clutched the phone tighter. He unconsciously tilted his head to listen for Christine's voice calling him, then realized what he was doing and sighed. “We go wherever you want us to go. I adore you. Please tell me you know that.”

“I know you do, Sean. If you _adored_ me a little less you might not have walked away from our relationship.”

“Elijah…”

“No. Just shut the fuck up. I don’t believe for a _minute_ you walked away from us because of guilt over us being lovers. You walked away because of how much you _loved_ me. **That’s** what scared you underground.”

“Lij, please…”

“NO ONE sees you, Sean. It’s not just _me_! You’ve walked away from _everybody_! You don't even go to auditions anymore. You just hole up in that house... hiding.”

Elijah hesitated. He could hear Sean's breathing growing ever more erratic and he suddenly felt like a bully. "I'm sorry, Seanie," he breathed. "I just wanted...," he hesitated again. "...to wish you a happy new year."

"You want to make my new year happy? Tell me you'll give us another chance." He hesitated for a moment fighting for control. "Now's the time for new beginnings, Elijah," he said in hoarse whisper.

"You crying again?"

"Not again... yet."

"Can we start with lunch?"

"No. Say you'll take me back. I can't breathe again until I know."

"Sean, I'm not some kind of emotional pit stop. If we're together... we're together for good. I don't mean you have to leave your family. But, fuck it, man, we have to be... committed."

"I _am_."

"Well I _should_ committed be for doing this, but..."

Sean held his breath, trembling all over.

"OK. Old acquaintance won't be forgot."

"Elijah..." Sean whispered.

"Happy New Year, Seanie. Now for fuck's sake.. stop crying."


End file.
